Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
