I'm gonna have a badass scar
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
