yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize