Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize