That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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