You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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