No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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