I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
