We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
