I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
