was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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