Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
