I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
