Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
