How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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