i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
