i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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