: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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