Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
