We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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