So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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