let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
