I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize