margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can tuck mytits in my pants
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
