are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize