I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
