You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
