Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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