I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
