Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
