thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This is the high leading the old right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize