Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
