Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
