S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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