were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
