You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
