I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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