My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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