I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
