Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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