That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My feet surprised me
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