My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize