A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
