I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
