So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A+ Viking dick
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