Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
