..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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