I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
