none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
