Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
