I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize