Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
