Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
