You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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