I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You left your phone here
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