that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
