i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
