Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
