She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize