Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
