You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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