You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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