Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
