her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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