if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
