I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
