threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
