; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
