I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
