I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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